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My brain and the things that live there in.

thedorkiestviking:

papadaftpunk:

american sex education be like

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UI JUST SPIT OUT MY JUICE

Anonymous said: how does one get into writing kindle erotica like i want to supplement my income plz help

rairii:

kijikun:

lizawithazed:

spacetwinks:

y’all go to this website, sign up, fill out some tax crap

write about 5000 words of porn or more - 3000 or more also acceptable, but you don’t really want to go under that. don’t tab to indent, i swear to god, it fucks with amazon’s formatting so bad. don’t write any porn that’d send you to jail IRL, amazon naturally (and thank god) doesn’t accept that shit.

on the ‘bookshelf’ tab, you click ‘add new title’, fill out everything, upload a cover - you can get one free image a month (or maybe a week now, i dunno) from bigstock.com if you need some stock images of people’s abs and stuff but can’t put cash down for anything just yet - and amazon has a cover making application built right into the process too to make things easier or if you don’t know shit about photoshop or whatever.

then you upload the document itself. click save and continue. choose how much you want your title to cost - 2.99 is generally what most people price theirs at, because that’s where amazon’s 70 percent royalties starts at. enroll in kindle select if you want that 70 percent royalties to apply to the whole world, so you’re getting the same royalties no matter where you sell.

then you hit publish and wait and wait and wait and wait for amazon to actually publish the fucking thing.

then you wait 60 days after the end of the month to get your royalties! don’t know why, but that’s how amazon rolls.

and you just keep making more and more titles in the meanwhile to build up that income cuz you’re not likely to make a lot from just one title.

there’s no real ‘gatekeepers’ in kindle erotica - you just start writing and publishing and you keep doing it and building up a library. some genres/kinks/niches sell better than others, and trends come and go, but it’s really all up to you - to do the writing, the publishing, the marketing, and then more writing and publishing. you just keep at it, bit by bit. this is a market where it’s really all about quantity… the bigger your library is, the more sales you’ll start to rack up, building like a snowball. even better if you release titles on like a regular schedule. ideally you want to put up like 2 titles a week, but 1 a week is a good initial goal to shoot for.

you can also go to amazon’s author central to set up an author page to get all your titles in one place and help build a reader base/link readers and buyers in general to.

godspeed anon!

hm.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

adding in my own hmmmmms

… I am seriously considering this. And also considering getting a proper pen name

Considering I have a collection of erotica already…..HMMMMMM.

askneppy:

multipack:

row row row your boat gently away from me

Merrily merrily merrily merrily please just fuckin leave

ketolic:

trying to escape 2nd person POV influence of homestuck more like 

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this is hell

cherenigans:

do you think whoever was designing the default netflix avatar made a mistake somewhere but just sat there laughing at the result for so long that the whole design team decided to keep it

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the-stuckness:

teamgif:

andrvw:

teamgif:

andrvw:

people who drink the left over milk in their cereal bowls are SICK FUCKS

I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE FROM BUT HERE IN MELBOURNE WE DONT WASTE MILK GOD DAMN IT I AM SO MAD THAT SHIT EXPENSIVE 

is your caps lock broken or are you really this passionate about milk

milk is the only thing i have left

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kawaiipeculier:

kawaiipeculier:

excuse me officer, but i believe i have the constitutional right

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TO BEAR ARMS

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ryanestradadotcom:

Learn To Read Russian in 15 Minutes! I did this one with my fabulous guest writer Peter Starr Northrop, aka bilgeathresh! If you want me to make these dang comics more often, visit my Patreon!